What is dialogue? A
dictionary definition of dialogue is “seeking mutual understanding and
harmony”. A thesaurus notes synonyms for
dialogue as “argument, back-and-forth, conversation, debate, deliberation, discussion,
and talk”. While the definition seems
clear, there could be confusion as to some of the synonyms.
If the point of dialogue to seek mutual understanding and
harmony as a result of the interaction, the same can not always be said about
the synonyms argument, conversation, debate, etc. The world is full of
interactions. Sometimes in those
interactions people are just talking. In
others, there is a conversation. And in
others, there is dialogue. Talking
involves basic exchange of words and phrases not always tied to an intended
outcome. A conversation compounds upon
talk and involves an informal oral exchange of sentiments, observations,
opinions, or ideas between two or more people.
It becomes a dialogue when two or more people become more formally
invested in the interaction; understanding not only what needs to be said, but
also understanding and honoring the other participants’ needs, values, and
convictions.
Generally speaking, simple talking does not incite a
movement. Basic conversation does not spark innovation. It is dialogue that is
truly impactful and creates transformational and lasting change. Here are a few things to keep in mind when
you desire meaningful dialogue.
15 Strategies for Meaningful Dialogue
1.
Err on the side of including people who
disagree.
2.
Initiate dialogue through a sense of empathy.
3.
Ensure a presence of equality, empathetic listening,
and surfacing assumptions nonjudgmentally.
4.
Minimize the level of mistrust before pursuing
practical objectives.
5.
Keep dialogue and decision making
compartmentalized.
6.
Focus on common interests, not divisive ones.
7.
Use specific cases and data to raise general
issues.
8.
Bring forth your own assumptions before
speculating on those of others.
9.
Clarify assumptions that lead to subculture
distortions.
10. Identify
mistrust as the real source of misunderstandings.
11. Expose
old scripts to a reality check.
12. Focus
on conflicts between value systems, not people.
13. Be
sure trust and rapport exits before addressing transference distortions.
14. Express
the emotions that accompany strongly held values.
15. Encourage
relationships in order to humanize transactions.
Strategies adapted from Daniel Yankelovich, 1999.
